5 Harmful Behaviors That Negatively Affect Self Esteem

Self Esteem is one of my biggest problems. My lack of self esteem has impacted my relationships and my professional life. Not believing in myself has led me to severe depression and anxiety issues. Recently. I embarked on a journey to better myself mentally. This has led me to realize that the major cause of my lack of self esteem is my own behavior. Below is a list of the 5 most harmful behaviors that I, and possibly others, have a tendency to do.

1. Thinking Negative

Allowing myself to dwell on negative thoughts has had a serious impact on my self esteem. If a person thinks negative thoughts about themselves, they will eventually start to believe them. In my example, being unemployed and unable to find a job has led me to feeling useless. It is imperative that I turn that negativity around. I have to work hard at thinking in a better tone. I am in the process of finding a better situation for my future and that may take some time.

2. Projecting Thoughts

As I do have a tendency to have negative thoughts, I tend to believe that others have those negative thoughts about me. Rather than trying to communicate with them, I usually assume that they don't like me for some reason. This has affected me socially, at work, and in my personal relationships. This behavior needs to change. It is necessary for me to stop assuming that I know what other people are thinking. I need to try to find a way to not only lessen my own negativity but also, stop projecting it on to others.

3. Allowing Others Opinions to Affect My Thinking

While there are many wonderful and supportive people in my life, I do occasionally have people that say things that hurt my feelings. It could be something that others may not even notice but it could seriously damage my self esteem. I must stop personalizing the negativity of others. I have to find a way to not allow what others say to have such a strong impact on my own thinking.

4. Replaying Conversations In My Head

Often I will lie awake at night, thinking of conversations I have had that day. It never has left me feeling good about myself. I will think not just about what was said but, also, what wasn't spoken. Obviously, I think the worst. I have even stopped talking to wonderful people because of what I believed they meant rather than what they said. I need to stop over analyzing every word, expression, and gesture and just try to take things at face value. Keeping busy is what I think is key in this change. If my mind is busy with other thoughts, I will have less time to reexamine motives.

5. Dwelling On The Past

Nothing good comes from dwelling on old mistakes. I know this. However, it is the hardest habit for me to break. It is over and I can’t change anything. That does not stop me from seeing the fall out of my previous actions and decisions. I know I need to get past them and move on. It is important that I forgive myself for being human as I tend to forgive others.

Now that I recognize these behaviors, it is time to start working on changing them. I have to think more positively about myself and believe others do as well. Also, I need to stop replaying the past in my mind and letting others affect me. Most importantly, I have to accept that I am human. I am not perfect. I have flaws and make mistakes but than so does everyone else. I am quick to forgive others for being human. It is time to forgive myself.

Do you have trouble with self esteem? How do you deal with these issues? Do you have any tips that may help me in my journey to better myself mentally? Please feel free to comment below.